


Finding myself

by Jilli72



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Engagement, F/M, Kidnapping, M/M, Magic, Moving, My First Fanfic, New story line, i really dont know, really just fluffy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-20
Updated: 2016-06-21
Packaged: 2018-06-09 16:49:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 8,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6915262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jilli72/pseuds/Jilli72
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Diland carstairs was dropped off to Tessa Gray in 2001</p><p>When she grew up things changed her life forever</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

2001  
There was a knock on the door. Tessa Gray walked up to the door and opened it. Right in front of her was the Counsul with a child in his hands. He asked Tessa as his dying wish to take care of the child. And he told Tessa that they child would help the wars in the long run. And then he died. Collapsing in to the ground with a thump. Tessa took the child before he fell. Of course she had to take care of the child now. As the guards were rushing to get the Counsul she closed the door to her little house to raise another child as her own.


	2. Older

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We see older Diland

End of school year 2016  
As the academy doors open and people flood. It’s the first day of summer for the children. They run home to go see their family’s for the summer or go to a family institute for the summer to train.  
  
I was just tired and I wanted to sleep, but most importantly Cameron Graynight was home from his institute. I run home to my small cottage that I grew up in for 15 years. I knew that I was adopted by Tessa. And it’s no surprise when people ask me why my name is Carstairs instead of Gray like Tessa. All I will say is that, that what I was named. Diland Carstairs. That is the name I was given. Tessa told me it was a person’s last name that she met before, in her long immortal life, she was a warlock.  
  
I get to the house and I see someone in the window. The person has a black cloak on, and I can’t see his face. I can tell it’s a Silent Brother. But I don’t know what Brother it is. I walk in slowly. Knowing that Silent Brothers don’t hurt you until they absolutely have to.  
  
“Hello Brother, what exactly are you doing here at this time? Cause if you’re here for Mrs. Gray then you have to wait a while because she still has to come back from work.” I said all of this with the words spilling out of my mouth.  
  
Tessa needed to get home. Like soon. Cause this guy is going to start freaking me out soon. He turned to me and he didn’t look like a normal Silent brother. His mount wasn’t sewn shut. And his eyes were dark brown. He looked like he just came out of a movie.  
  
“No I didn’t come here to see her, well yes I did but she asked me to come down and talk to you.”  
  
He said in the most calming voice I have ever heard. I told him I would talk to him but first I had to go put my stuff in my room. And I was kind of lying about that. Well not completely, I was going to my room but I was jumping out the window to go see Cam.  
  
I run down the street. To go see Cam. I have known Cam for years and we finally decided to start dating last summer so it was great seeing him home for the first time in the year. I run trying to get away from the Brother because it’s so hard to get away from them why they know what you’re thinking the entire time your there. So as I run I see Gray night’s house. I go knock on the door and Cam opens the door. I jumped into his arms. He kissed me on the forehead.  
  
“I haven’t seen you in forever. How’s the institute doing? How’s life going I have seen the fire messages you wrote. I saw everything. Except you.”   
  
I practically was shaking in his arms as he picks me up and brings me to the couch still kissing me. It was great to see him, because I haven’t seen him all summer. So why was he acting so differently from what is usual. I go and ask him what’s wrong with him. He says nothing and then I push him off me.  
  
“WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU.” I yelled at him.  
  
Then I look at his eyes. They aren’t his normal eyes, they were black, like a demon.  
  
I get out of his house right then and there. I run outside and there was nobody outside. Was I hallucinating. I was so confused, what was happening to me. I was trying group walk back home but the world was spinning, round and round. I fall on the ground seeing the Brother that was in my house walking to me.  
When I woke up, I was back in my house. I didn’t know what was going on. All I remember is leaving Cams house. What was wrong with Cam. I tried to get up but I couldn’t. I was in a dream, have I been in this the whole time. I hear voices, quiet but clear.  
  
“She can’t go on like this Jem; she has to know who she really is. Plus, you knocked her out right as she got here. I know what she does when she comes home and she probably did it in her dream, and you know with dream spells they don’t end well.” Tessa was saying.  
  
So the brothers name is Jem. I have heard that name before. I can start to feel my fingers right as Tessa came in. She saw my fingers moving.  
  
“Di, don’t try to move I know you can hear me but right now I just need you listen to me and Brother Zachariah. I wish this would be in a couple of years but I’m guessing your father didn’t want that. When you walked into the house your eyes where different. They looked like cat eyes. And I wish this didn’t happen to you but Diland, you are like me, half shadowhunter, half warlock.”  
  
And I woke up. Just like that.  
  
I didn’t say anything at first. I was just shocked. Then I heard a knock on the front door.  
  
Jem went down and looked who it was. A shadowhunter and two warlocks came to my room. Magnus Bane, Alec Lightwood, and Max Lightwood-Bane. One look at me and Magnus knew what I was. And that apparently I was his sister. So great now I have a brother, well two including Alec. Then what surprised me the most was that I was leaving Idris and moving to New York. It all happened so fast I couldn’t speak.  
“Tessa, will you come with me, to New York. I don’t want to be alone with people that I don’t know. No offense.”  
  
I looked at the couple with their blue child.  
  
“None taken, I get it. I had to travel a lot when I was younger. And also you won’t only have warlock training, you can go to the institute with Alexander for training with Jace Herondale.” Magnus said.  
  
He just had all the glitter in the world all over him. But also they are a very cute couple.  
  
When I could finally move. I asked Tessa if I could go out to get some fresh air. She let me go.  
  
If that was a dream, then Cam didn’t do anything to me. I walked over to Cams house and walked slowly. I needed to think, I couldn’t do anything. I felt like I was stuck between two walls and they were closing in. I walk closer and closer and I start to realize that this was a bad idea.  
  
I have to go back; I need to do something. I was having a panic attack. Shadowhunters don’t get panic attacks, we are supposed to help the panic, and turn it into something else. But I’m not a shadowhunter, and I still don’t know what I am.  
  
I knock on Cams door. He is home I can see him in the window. He opens the door and he had his hair all fuzzy like he was sleeping. He went to say hello but I just hugged him. I didn’t want to go anywhere, not New York, nowhere. I just felt like home in him arms. We didn’t go anywhere. We were standing in the doorway for minutes. Until his mother came to the door to ask who was here. She saw me and I went right in. I missed the whole family, but mostly Cam. Cam’s mother made us some tea and we talked about how different it was being in the institute and the academy.  
  
“Well I will be having the pleasure of finding out what an institute feels like, and I should have told you when I walked in but I’m moving to New York with Magnus Bane and Alec Lightwood.” I said calmly but Cam only put his cup down and came over to me, he took my hand and pulled me to his room. He sat down on his bed and put his head in his hands. I went and sat down next to him. “I just found out today if you really wanted you know. I would have told you before if it wasn’t that way.” Still he said nothing. I pulled him into a hug and let the tears come. I don’t usually cry but if its leaving the people I love. I will. We both laid down on the bed, fully clothed, just hugging. I was crying and he was so upset he couldn’t say anything. He finally tried to say something.  
  
“You know, I love you. I really have never said it before but I do love you. More than friends and I just wish I could spend my life with you. But you’re going to be so far. I planned next year so that I could come to the academy. So I could see you more.” This just made me cry more. I felt horrible. “I can always ask if you can come with me. But I doubt it.” All I could see in his eyes where pain. Unbearable pain. Right then I kissed him we have never kissed really, just kisses on the forehead but never on the lips. It was passionate, when we finished we wanted more. But we decided not to. “Come with me. I know you can’t come with me with me but just come to Tessa’s house.  
We walked and we walked, it seemed like the longest walk in the world. Tessa was probably going to kill me for being out so late. But at least she knew where I was the entire time. She knows in the summer if I’m not home I am with Cam. We just walk back. We don’t look back on the pass, he knows I have to go and there is no way of stopping it. Yet he doesn’t care what I am. Only who, and that is what I look for in a person.  
  
We finally get to my house and all the lights are on. And Tessa is looking out the window for me. Great she is looking for me. I walk in to see the same people. Tessa, Jem, Magnus, Alec, and Max. They stop talking just as I walk in.  
  
“Diland, where have you been, we’ll I know where you have been but still you have been put for hours. You know better.” She was mad.  
  
And that didn’t make anything better. As she said when I was little. Anger doesn’t do anything, to anyone, it just makes you more frustrated. And that what was happening to her. She was angry that she has to give me away, that she never told me, and that she can’t do anything about me anymore.  
  
I went up to my room to pack and when I looked up in my room everything was already packed. “I can move it with my magic once we get there.” Magnus yelled from the bottom of the stairs. I could tell Cam was out of his place and didn’t know what to do but that didn’t matter. I just didn’t want him to see me go like this. I walked down the stairs and I knew that I was making the right choice. I needed to train if I wanted to be both warlock and shadowhunter. And I could only do it one way.


	3. New York

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Diland is in New York now

Summer of 2016  
I walk through the portal to go to New York, the people that came with me where the lightwood-banes. Once we get there we show up in a loft that seems small on the outside but with magic probably ten times bigger then my house in Idris.  
We walked in and Alec sat down with Max while Magnus and I took my stuff to my new room. When I got to my room one wall was just walls. There was a queen bed and a dresser. Also it had a bathroom connected to it. I drop my bags onto the floor. Turn and hug Magnus. Well now he was my brother, so that was great. I wanted to explore. I went to go look out the window. New York was amazing. It was so different then Idris. I turned around to see the door. Walked out to find the front door and when I found it Alec was right behind me. “Where do you think you’re going?” He stopped me in the middle of trying to open the door. All I wanted to do was explore, nothing else.  
“I know you want to explore this new city, so go get your seraph blade and a phone and we will take a detour to the institute. If that is okay with you?” He was whispering to me. Trying not to get Max all riled up. So I went and grabbed a phone and my dagger and we left the loft. There were many stairs to this loft that I didn’t know about. Apparently their neighbors were a bunch of old ladies that didn’t care about Magnus or his life. We walk onto the streets of a new world for me. New York. So many tall buildings, and so many people.  
That detour to the institute was a combo of getting food and seeing the sights. We really don’t talk, which is awkward. “So how long have you and Mags been together?” And he practically laughed, I’m guessing he gets that question a lot. “Few years. I didn’t like the coming out part but he finally pushed me to come out. Even though all of my family knew except my parents. It was kind of funny.” He told me about the story of the fearless rune and almost giving the secret away to his parents. But then he said that his parents weren’t the most kind to him when he came out.  
We finished our food and then started to head to the institute. I have never been out of Alicante so this was really exciting for me. Alec broke the silence this time. “How long have you know that guy who came to the house with you?” It was a surprising question to me because I actually have known him since forever. “I have known him since I could walk. We always knew that we would be there for each other, but it never felt like a parabatai bond. So we pushed away because we are young and stupid.” He just laughed at me, like he knew something I didn’t. “So when is your birthday?” I told him that June 18th was my birthday and that I always liked the outside weather in the summer. Again he laughed at me. I think about it and he is acting like a brother to me. Because Magnus is my brother. I never could put two and two together.  
The institute is right in front of us. Its beautiful, there are so many words to explain it. But all I could think of was beautiful. I’m guessing that I’m going to like New York.


	4. The institute

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We see the institute.

I walked with Alec up to the institute, it was amazing to finally see one with my own eyes.

"I'm guessing this is new to you. I grew up here." Alec told me. We were here to look around and I wanted to train. I looked up at Alec and he had a smirk on his face. Like he knew something.

"What aren't you telling me Alec. I may not be fully like Magnus but I know when someone is lying." He just started laughing at me. We both walked into the institute with no problem. As i walk in I see three people talking in the lobby. Jace Herondale, Clary Fairchild, and Cam. I ran as fast as I could to Cam. We both fell to the floor.

"What the hell are you doing here Cam, your supposed to be in Idris with Tess, and your parents." I was so happy to see him words just came flying out of my mouth. We were still on the floor. And I was on top of him. He was smiling, then kissed me. 

"Well i'm happy to see you to Di."

Once we both got up I put my hand in his. "So this is what you weren't telling me." I said to Alec. And I heard something that sounded like straight people, and Jace hit him over the head. 

Clary cam over to us and asked us if we wanted a tour of the place. Of course with me I said yes. I was with Cam the entire time. We have been through everything together but this was so different to both of us. We weren't in Europe anymore. 

"Cameron, this is going to be your room for the summer, someone already brought up your bags as you can see. And Diland you will be at Mags house if i'm correct." Both of us nodded. We kept walking til we got to the training room, where Alec and Jace where already punching each other. 

We both wandered in and watched. Once the parabatai had finished doing their work, they came to us.

"So who's the better fighter between the two of you?" Jace called over to the both of us. And of course Cam pointed to me. I was in the Academy for much longer than he had been and he only learned about languages when he was at the institute in the UK. Jace told me to come grapple with him to see how well I really was. And surprisingly enough he wasn't that hard to beat. 

"Jace, this girl is kicking your ass, are you going all the way, cause if not I think we found someone stronger then you. Even if she is half warlock." And then I hesitated, I am not used to being called that yet. I fell on the ground and Cam rushed over to me. I never hesitated and Cam knew that. I just kept going but that just tore me down.

"I'm not one of them." I was almost in tears, when Cam pulled me into the hall to his room. 

He knew what I was going through, he lost his brother in the cold war because he was half fey. He just hugged me. I was just done with what people thought I was. I just wanted to be a shadowhunter. And not go through any warlock problems. We sat on the bed and I was still in Cam's arms. He kissed me on the forehead. And just stayed there forever.

\---

It felt like forever until Alec knocked on the door. 

"Look Diland I didn't mean to say that I thought you were as Magnus usually is with this. He is usually making jokes about who he is. I didn't mean to say that. I didn't know." Alec was saying with complete honesty, I could hear it in his voice. 

"Please just go away Alec. I will be home later."I was still in Cam's arms when this was going on.

"No, Tessa said that I cant leave you at the institute, without me or Magnus."

"Alec I said GO AWAY" I pointed at the door and green sparks came out of my hands. And like lightning I heard Alec fall.

Both of us got up and opened the door. Alec was on the floor with a giant gash down his arm.

"We need to get him to Magnus's now. I'm so sorry, I didn't know. I didn't know."


	5. Hurt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rushing to Magnus to help out Alec
> 
> Sorry this is a short chapter.

We rushed to the loft, Izzy and Jace had Alec's arms. Clary and Cam had his legs. And I was !0 feet behind thinking about what I have done.

When we got to the loft, Magnus was moving everything to get Alec to safety. 

Max was coming out of his room when Izzy and Clary told him to go back, and they walked him to the room so that they could keep him under control.

"What happened to him, Jace. He had to be hit by a giant knife for this to happen." Magnus was telling Jace. And that just made me fell even worse. Cam came over to me so I wouldn't fall over sobbing. We went to my room and I just wanted to not be here anymore. I wanted to go back to Idris. I didn't want to hurt anyone. I just didnt want this to happen to anyone else.

"Cam I would get away from me, I don't want to hurt you too."

"No"

He just said no, I know that he was on my side for everything but now he was getting serious. 

"You need to control yourself for a second Di, I know you don't get it and neither do I but we both have to learn how to control your new powers. Im not going to say the word cause I know you don't like it, but you need to know that I am here for you. It doesn't matter if i'm in Idris and your not. We will always be together. And I want to give you this." He took off his family ring and put it in the palm of my hand. 

"I will be with you forever. And more after that."


	6. Return (Im going to stop naming them things that other people would put just what the chapter is about really)

"I can't hurt anyone else, Cam. I need to go back to Idris. I need to see Tess, talk to her. She has been through this." I was freaking out. I didn't know what to do.

"Your not going to hurt anyone else Di, Magnus and I will take care of that." Mags and Alec where standing in the doorway. Watching me pace around my room while Cam is on my bed. "I wont let that happen to you, Tessa said she would hurt me. So I will teach you how to correctly use your magic. I have to go back a few century's but I think I can do it." Magnus was so sure of himself. But I could see his real eyes and they were filled with doubt.

I say okay to them and i'm still holding the ring in my hand. I don't know what to do with it. Cam came and hugged me from behind while I was looking out the window. I didn't know what I was doing anymore. My mind was so blank from all that just happened. 

"Whats on your mind Di, I know we need to talk so lets talk. Its just you and me." I just wanted to stay like this. He was warm, I was cold. Opposites attract. They always have.

(Flashback Time)

Cam and I were sitting on Tessa's deck. It was starting to rain.

"Your cold."

"Cam, i'm always cold you know that."

"But you need to be warm, come here."

He pulled me into a hug and we stayed there for hours just watching the rain fall on a warm summer day.

"Cam?"

"Yeah Di?"

"Can we stay like this forever, and maybe someday when we are older, we can be more then friends."

"Diland, that would be the best thing in the world."

We stayed hugging. Forever.

(Flashback Over)

"What are we going to do Cam? Just wait until I can control this, that could be after your dead. Now that I know that I'm immortal."

"Diland, you cant talk like that, we are going to do this together. We will help each other with this. We just need a little time. You will have control and not have out bursts, you will learn. You have Magnus Bane as your brother. I think that can help."

I pulled Cam into a kiss, it was deep, dark and warm. We both have been waiting for something like this to happen. Cam pulls me over to the bed. Still kissing. We are laying on the bed just kissing, nothing else, we just missed each others lips. 

"Cam, what does this mean, what are we?" I was out of breath.

"I think we are engaged now. Di, i'm not trying to get into your pants, I know better. I have know you all my life. This was eventually going to happen with us. You knew that."

I nodded. The person that I loved the most in my life. Was right in front of me. We just laid in bed for the night, we just wanted to be together. Nothing else.


	7. Getting back into the groove

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Starting magic training  
> And long chapter cause I wanna

Alec came in to Diland's room to get her, and as he opened the door he saw Cam and Di cuddling in bed. Alec left them there, and went to go get Max up, Then his husband.

As Di wakes up she sees her door slightly open, she gets up not disturbing Cam and goes to see what was happening. 

Alec is on the couch with Max at his side. Watching a kids show. Or a fashion show? I really dont know.

"Alec, How are you feeling?"

"Good! How was your night, since Tessa specifically said for us to not put you two in a room at night."

"Wow Tess, We didn't do anything, we just laid there, not like you and Mags have never done that."

"True, true."

"Whats the schedule today, cause I really don't want to go back to the Institute, and I know Cam has to go back."

"I have no clue, I think Mags is teaching you today, so that's something i'm not a part of. But I can take Cam back to the Institute. But first I have to get both of you a New York phone, I am not taking that away that from you guys. I can tell you that."

"Okay, great thanks. When exactly is Mags going to wake up? Cause I dont really want to stand around and do nothing."

"Well then, you can make brekfast for all of us. We have eggs and bacon. I like to cook and Mangus uses magic, I dont like that so we cook."

"Weird question, who is the woman in this relationship?"

"I like to say both."

"Great to know."

I went into the kitchen and saw eggs, milk, and cheese in the fridge so I hopped on making breakfast. Cam came out an hour later. He found me and was hugging me from behind while I was cooking.

"Hey handsome, how did you sleep."

"Slept great cause I was next to my favorite person."

He kissed me, I could hear Magnus yelling from his room.

"Would you two stop flirting with each other, its horrible enough with Clary and Jace. Now you two."

And Alec yelling back to him.

"Shut your mouth Mags, you have nowhere to talk."

"True true."

Cam and I laugh. I am really excited to live in this household. I finished making the eggs as I got out five plates and told Cam to make the table for all of us. I called Alec to get Mags up. And Max came over and sat at the table next to me.

"So are you two dating?"

We were taking by surprise by that question. Everyone in Idris knew that we were more then parabatai, but just said that we were close enough to it.

"Yes Max. We are together but you cant tell you dad that."

I say that as Magnus and Alec walk in.

"Cant tell us what?"

"Noth.."

"Aunt Diland and Cameron are dating!"

Magnus looked like he knew this already.

"Sweetheart I know, she is wearing the Graynight ring on her finger, so technically they are engaged. I would have liked to have known earlier about my sisters new adaptation, but again I never knew I had a sister before."

He was really calm, kinda too calm. We ate our eggs then Alec, Max, and Cam went back to the institute for training. I was stuck with Magnus.

\---

"Diland, we will be starting with the simplest things, moving and manipulation of elements. Now there is a rock in front of you."

There was a rock in front of me. It was probably the size of me. It was huge.

"Great you see the rock, now focus everything you have on the rock."

Okay, now im just looking at a rock. What am I doing?

"Now feel the rock with your mind."

What?

"Can you feel the rock in your mind?"

"What in the world am I doing Magnus?"

"Well your supposed to be feeling the rock with your mid but I can tell you cant do that. What would you rather do? Move water?"

To be honest yes.

"Sure I dont care but that rock is not something I can concentrate on, Magnus its taller then me."

"Fine fine."

He snapped his fingers and the rock was gone. Now there was a table and a cup of water on the table.

"Since you want water, move the water."

I concentrated. Like I did in training, concentrate on where to punch, where to kick, slice. You always concentrate.

"And that's your problem."

My head went up, and I lost concentration.

" Your concentrating too much. You have to relax, and let it move freely through your body. Lesson number one of magic. Let it come to you, its not like a skilled move. Its you. Its your energy's moving all around your body. Like you are part of the water, but not holding it. Its the exact opposite of a seraph blade. But with the blade its part of you. Make the water part of you."

I attempted to do what he said. But i just couldn't get it. "Why don't we take a different approch. Deflect the water." "Wha.." He threw the cup of water at me. It went everywhere. "Magnus, why the hell would you do that?" "To help you stop concentrating and letting it flow through you. You need to know that it comes easier when you dont think."

"Still you don't need to throw it at me! I'm not a warlock, I'm a shadowhunter. "

"Yet you did bring your magic out when your mad. You have cat eyes. And you have figured out how to hide them from most people. You just can't think about the actual thing and do it. Tell the water to get off you. Diland you can do this. "

I stopped thinking. I just told the water to get off. 

"OFF"

All of the water jumped off of me. But it didn't fall on the floor. It was still in the air. 

"Go back in the cup. "

Magnus was still holding the cup when all the water went back into the cup. Its like the water was alive.

"Well done Diland. I knew you could do it."

I needed to punch something. I went to my room. I needed to talk to Cam. I felt like something was wrong with me. About 30 minutes later I left my room and went to Magnus.

"Magnus I need to go to the institute right now. I need to talk to Cam."

"We need to talk about this Cam of yours. As I can see you have his ring on your finger. "

"Okay I get that. Also you are wearing the Lightwood ring. So you two are the same place we are. "

"You are almost 16 Diland."

"I get that but still we have known each other since we could walk. Mags, I know we aren't doing anything anytime soon. We just are saying that we will be together for a long time. Hopefully until one of us dies."

Magnus thought that over and it made sense to him. Because he is with Alec.

"Alright, alright grab you coat. Let's go to the institute. "

He made a portal and we left.


	8. Back to the institute

We stepped through the portal and went to the institute. The institute was the same as I walked in.

"They are probably in the training room. Or Cam is in his room hiding from Jace cause he never came home last night."

"Well, he was home to me."

Magnus rolled his eyes as we walked to the training room. It was big and open. And Alec, Izzy, Max, Jace, and Cam were in there. Jace and Cam were beating the crap out of each other while everyone watched. Cam saw me and lost concentration, when Jace punched him in the face. Cam fell to the ground.

"Cameron, you cant loose concentration." Jace turned to me. "Oh, that's why you lost concentration."

"Okay boys, run along I want to meet the new girl."

"Iz, she has been here for two days, you kinda missed the grand meeting with the new girl." Jace was saying getting Cam off the ground.

"Well I was in Idris with Simon, its not my fought."

Cam piped up now. "Well I wouldn't get near her right now. She looks like she is about to punch someone."

Cam came up to me. Hugged me and kissed me on my forehead.

"Lets go to my room. I can see you need to talk."

We left the training room

"Di, why do you look like your about to punch, or kill someone."

"I used magic. Magic Cam. I don't know what to do. I'm freaking out Cam."

"You need to calm down is what you need to do."

He closed the door. Sat down on the bed while I paced the room, it was pretty big. But small compared to mine. 

"Sit down. That's one way to calm down."

I sat down next to him on the bed. Then he hugged me. 

"I know that you can calm down. This is just new to you. I get it."

I stayed in his arms. A knock was at the door.

"Come in."

"Hey Cameron, Diland nice to meet you. I'm Izzy if you didn't know."

"Hi Izzy. I just, we, I don't know what to do with this."

"Well I know you have magic, and your Magnus's sister. And soon I kinda will be too. We will work through it. I can tell you that your in good hands. And I can tell you that you have a person to hold on to."

She left the room. And Cam was looking at me.

"Yes dear."

"I was just looking at your eyes. You don't really let the glamour fall, unless your really stressed out."

I didn't realize I let it drop.

"And now they are back to your old eyes."

"Sorry, its just.."

"Don't. Don't talk right now. I just want to look at you. Your beautiful, you know."

He pushed my hair to the side. And kissed me. 

We were there forever. We both fell back on the bed laying on it now. And got into each others arms. Still kissing.

I didn't want to leave but I knew I had to go back to the loft

"Cam, I have to go." I say in between the kisses.

"I can come with you. Like I did last night. Or we both can stay here."

"No I can't. I have to go back. Mags has to teach me stuff, I think I might be back tomorrow for training. But I need to go back Cam."

"Please can I at least just walk you back to the loft."

"Yes, but then you need to come back to the institute, not waiting for me. Please."

"I will, I will."

We left the room holding each others hands. I could tell Magnus and Alec went home. So leaving without them wasn't a big deal. We didn't take any weapons cause it was about a mile away. We got onto the road and it was fine until we were about half a mile away from the loft. 

But then we got jumped.


	9. Taken 4

We were jumped.

We were just walking by and something jumped us.

It wasn't mundane, I can tell you that. 

"I have both of them master, they don't have any seraph blades on them at this moment."

"Good, now bring them to me."

We were jammed in the back of a car that we could clearly hear what the call going on was about. And our hands were tied.

Cam and I worked out a long time ago if this were to happen we would use a different language.

We decided signing this time.

~Cam this was planned, what are we going to do~

~I know this is going to be hard on you but you need to break the rope with your magic.~

~Well its all we got in this situation. I will try.~

I looked at the ropes. I imagined them untying themselves. I opened my eyes and my hands were untied. 

~Give me a second to untie you.~

I untied his hands with magic too. I was getting really happy that I could do this.

~Di, unlatch the door so we can get out.~

Just as he said that the car stopped. The man in the front got out of the car. 

"What are we supposed to do? We cant just leave and we don't know where we are because there are no windows.

"We wait."

Suddenly the back doors open and two men are pulling us out.

"If this is Mags and Alec I will be pissed."

"I'm guessing its not."

They dragged us into a mansion. Bigger then the institute. They took us in and put us at a table with all tons of foods.

"Glad you could join us Mr. Graynight and Ms. Carstairs. Or should I say Mrs. Graynight, well at least soon to be. I didn't want to alarm you by getting you to here, I just needed to talk to you with those others hearing you."

"So you kidnapped us to talk."

"Who doesn't do that?"

"Diland, stop. Hello brother."

"Cam, you have a brother."

"He always has my dear."

"Okay this is weird. Why didn't you say something when we were in Idris."

"He pretends he is dead. He told Mom to forget that he was born and she did exactly that. But that's why I have been calm on the way here."

"Okay but which side is he on. The Circle or ours."

"I have no side except my own."

I needed to get back to Magnus' loft. What would happen if I created a portal. I got up and backed up to a wall.

"Cam, did you know he was going to do this?"

"Diland, why would I do that to you. I didn't know he would take us."

I got to the wall and I thought of a portal going to Magnus'. 

"Cam, I gotta go."

The portal was made and I fell backwards thinking of the loft.


	10. Back home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is late I got distracted

Portals were something different to me. I didn't really get them that much but they had a great effect on my life of a shadowhunter of course. I landed into the loft and Magnus and Alec were on the couch waiting for me.

"What are you guys ? Strict parents?"

That didn't make then smile or laugh. I'm screwed.

"Okay I can explain why i'm late. Cam and I were kidnapped."

"And you left him with the kidnapper."

"Yes and no. The kidnapper was one of his brothers workers."

"Cameron never said anything about a brother."

"That's what I said. But he just wanted to meet me. And I had a bad feeling about his brother, the moment I stepped in there."

"Well did you know where you were?"

"No, and also I am exhausted so I am going to bed if that's okay."

"Goodnight."

I reached my room, and felt like something was missing. I saw my bed. Last time I was in it I had Cam with me, do I still have him. Magnus walked in after me and sat down on my bed.

"You are worried, whats wrong."

"I think that Cam's brother isn't with the shadowhunters. I think he was with Sebastian. But I could be completely wrong."

"I think the clave should look into that." Alec piped up from my doorway.

"Is there anything else wrong Di. We can defiantly help."

"No I'm fine. I just need sleep, I had a long night. And I just want to be alone. A lot going through my mind."

"Okay well goodnight."

"Night."

I laid in bed just thinking. What side am I on. I still want to stay with Cam but I don't want to be on Sebastian's side.

After that I fell asleep, tired from the day before.

~~~~

I woke up. It was about 8 in the morning. I got out of bed and nobody was up yet. I got dressed in a big sweater and leggings and went out to the kitchen. I made myself tea and conjured up a scone. Now that I know how to use my powers, I have become more like Mags. I went to put shoes on and I saw a fire message for me at the door. 

~Sorry about last night I didn't know that He was in town. I stay away from him, don't worry about me. I am back at the Institute if you absolutely need me. I need to talk to you. ~

It was from Cam of course. I put my shoes on and left the loft. I wanted to be alone. I wanted to talk to someone. I wanted to talk to Tessa. I created a portal in the hallway of Magnus's apartment and went to Idris.

~~~~

I landed in my house. It was quiet. I was back in my old room, My bed was made and I had all the books on my bookshelves neat and organized, just like it was when I left. I heard the swoosh of a seraph blade at my door. Jem opened it ready to kill. 

"Brother, its just me, Diland."

"Well it seems that you know how to use your powers."

I laughed.

"I have for about three hours. Is Tessa home?

"She is in the living room."

I tell him thanks and go to the living room. Tessa is standing there waiting for me.

"Diland, what are you doing here? You cant be here without the Claves approval."

"I know Tess but I just needed to talk to someone, that wasn't in the institute or at the house. Its just Cam and everything else going on with New York and my powers I'm just so confused."

"Di, its okay to be confused I was the same way but I didn't know where I was."

"I know, I know, Its just so stressful. Cam asked to be with me. And then I just met his brother that may or may not be with the Morgensterns."

Jem finally spoke up.

"Do you have his ring?"

"Yes but I left it at home with the chain he put it around. I kinda wasn't thinking correctly last night. I was kidnapped last night by Cam's brothers worker."

"Did you have any weapons on you."

"No but they put us in cuffs and I used magic to get out. He seemed more calm then I did. It was weird like he knew that was going to happen."

"I think Jem can ask the Clave for information on Cam's brother but you need to get home."

Right as she said that a fire message came in. It of course was from Alec.

"And they know you arent there. Diland, go home, I was planning to come over in a week or so anyway. I will see you soon."

"Bye Tess, Jem treat her good for me."

I made a portal and I left.


	11. Chapter 11

I landed back at the house and Alec was up on the couch reading a magazine. He looked up at me surprised.

"Diland, Why did you leave?"

"I had to go talk to someone." I said really quietly. I felt bad for leaving.

"Okay. Well thank god you got back here before Mags woke up. Cause he would have put a spell on this house."

"Your not going to ask where I went."

"No cause I know where you went... Idris. I would want to go there when I needed an escape, Its where you grew up. You got pulled away from it so I get it."

"Alright then. Well I need to go get my books together so I can go train and study at the institute today."

Alec stepped in front of me, blocking me.

"I don't think going back to the institute is a good idea for you right at this moment Di, I'm a little worried about you."

"Alec I'm fine. Just let me go."

As I say that Magnus walks in with Max in his hands.

"Whats wrong? Are you two fighting over something. A Carstairs and a Lightwood. Going back to the old days."

"Mags its not that, she wants to go back to the institute. I say its not a good idea."

"I say I need to go for training."

"Well you both aren't wrong. But I have to agree with my Alec, with all the stuff that has gone on you just cant. I'm sorry but this is an executive decision i am making."

I walked back to my room. Fell on top of the bed for a while until I heard a small knock on my door.

"Aunt Di, Are you okay? You don't look well."

"Hey Maxy, No i'm fine just tired, I went back home for a while and talked to Tessa. But I will be fine."

He sat himself next to me and hugged me.

"Aunt Di, can we go on a walk? I know how to use glamours now so I can go out during the day."

"Sure Max let me just get ready to go out.:

I went and fixed my make-up and then saw Max out front.

"Ready to go!"

He was ready and was jumping all around.

We both left the house without Alec and Magnus. Who were doing god knows what.

We went to the park and sat down on the grass with a blanket.

"Aunt Di why are you so afraid of your powers?"

"Because I don't know what to do with this power and it might go wild without me looking."

"Well you just need to not worry. I know you are going through a hard time with the move from place to place but I want to help you aunt Di. Its not your fought, by the way."

"Well it feels that way. I don,t know what to do. My head says be the best person, follow everything, be with the person I love. The shadowhunter way. But my heart says to do the trade of the warlock. And go to the labyrinth and leave."

"And what does your gut say?"

"To be both. Still love the way I was raised but have something extra added. Do you get what I mean?"

"Yes, so be what you want to be, dont worry about what others think Just look at my dad's!"

"Ha, okay I will take your advice."

I got a phone call from Mags saying it was safe to come back to the loft. So we started walking back. When we got back everything was a different design.

"Redecorate again."

"Yes, you didn't teleport so I had time."

"Okay Mags, Where is Alec?"

"He went on a mission, with Jace."

"Why couldn't I go with."

"Because this mission has someone that you know is involved in it."

"Who Mags? You can tell me."

"They are going to interigate Cameron in Idris with the sword. I couldnt stop them. Im sorry."

~~~(IN IDRIS)

Jace, Alec, and Cameron dropped out of a portal.

"Hey guys, where are we?" Cameron looked up and saw the glass city in front of him.

"Im so sorry Cameron." Alec said as two clave members walk up to Cameron and put handcuffs around him.

"What the hell is happening, is this about my brother? He is dead to me, I didn't know he would be watching me and Diland while we were walking."He says as they drag him into the gaurd.

"This is going to be a painful meeting."

~~~

"What do you mean they are using the sword on him, Magnus what have you done." Diland was infuriated, she didnt know what to do. All of a sudden the room was shaking.

"Diland, calm down. This will be resolved, we will figure it out. You just need to calm down."

She was so broken, she didnt know what to do, her life was broken in two, warlock and shadowhunter. Cameron or nothing.

Everything she ever knew was broken, and she had to fix it.

 

~~~

The day that Cameron had his trial Tessa was there, so was Jem. They both looked sad, sad for themselves, sad for Diland. The inquisitor had the sword in hand.

"Do you take up the sword and say the absolute truth?"

"Yes"

"You may procede."

Cameron took the sword and could feel a pain flow through his body.

"Cameron, what were you doing the night you and Diland were kidnapped."

"I was walking her back to Magnus' loft."

"Did you know that your brother was in New York at the time you were there?"

"No."

"Did you get any suspicious fire messages from anyone the day you took Diland back to the loft."

"Yes."

"What did the letter say?"

"It said, im back. That was it"

"And did you say anything back to the letter."

"No."

"I say that this boy is innocent. Please remove the sword from his hands."

When they took the sword out of his hands it was like bricks taken off him, he looked down at his hands and saw burn marks.

"Alec Lightwood, please take him back to the New York institute and make sure he has a shadowhunter watching over him always. You are dismissed."

After all that was done they left the city of glass and went back to the loft.


End file.
